On my 21st birthday (last June) I was happy and in love with life in a way I hadn’t been in months. The day after I fell into a despair that I couldn’t find the cause to. I was sick in bed for the next week. All I did was sleep. Once I recovered from being sick, I still was unable to leave my house. I couldn’t find one reason to do so. I canceled my guided meditation classes and was unable to secure work for that time. I stayed inside and journaled, drew, read, prayed, slept, meditated, took baths.
One day I was over it. I said, “if I have absolutely nothing to do, I might as well do the things I’ve been wanting to do and didn’t have time for.” I went to San Diego to visit a nude beach for my first time. I went to Joshua Tree to hike alone at the Oasis. I went to Deep Creek and found my new happy place there in the “Garden of Eden”. I fell in love with life again by disillusioning myself. The only restrictions in life are those we place on ourselves.
A week later I decided to move to Oakland. Two weeks later I did. Here I am now, talking on the phone with my friend about my journey of self-love, and I tell her,
“I feel so warm inside me. It feels like I’m constantly being embraced. Every moment I’m unconsciously praising and supporting myself- I trust my unsupervised thoughts. It feels calm and even when I’m not it only takes a minute to remember that I am safe and protected.” My journey isn’t over but I feel welcome here in this moment. Peace is a form of existence. #CreateYourExperience